I've been told that I am very mature for my age, told that I'm more like 35 then my true age of 21. It kind of reminds me of the movie Freaky Friday(1976 or 2003 version), where a mother and daughter switches bodies except for that I forgot to switch back. I'm a 35 year old woman stuck in a 21 year old's body! Is this so called maturity that I have a curse? Because at times I feel like it has worked against me more then for me. Granted, I am probably one of few my age that supports herself by working 2 jobs & overtime. And that's great, right? I have a "great head on my shoulders", I know how to prioritize my responsibilities, I pay all my bills and on time, I continue to discipline myself further in order to maintain this maturity in my life.
But what happened to the fun? The time where I was carefree & not because I was ignoring or drinking away the problems, but just because I had someone there letting me be the kid I deserved to be. Do I really have to grow up now, already? I didn't ever really get to be a kid.
In school, I was the one everyone picked on & the people that made me the most happy were the teachers. I almost feel as though I was relating more to them then my 11 year old classmates. I've never been the one that fit in, that understood people my own age, I'm always one step ahead wishing I was on the same step.
I know that this is what really is so great about me, what gives me the ability to relate to people of all ages, but I haven't fully realized how to embrace it, accept it as me.
I'm super sensitive, very caring & so much like a sponge, trying to take in other people's problems & fix them...no one taught me how to focus on me. Sometimes, I don't even know what that means. It makes me happy to help others, it really does, just need to learn how to help me!
I'm hoping this blog will be a good start to figure out me, who I am, what I like & where I truly want to go from here.
Thanks for reading! :)